Crap.
I’ve been visiting some towns across the Netherlands. I thought it would be fun.
First off I went to see Sneek. Me and my brother agreed on eating some ice cream in Sneek. I really don’t know where this stupid idea came from, but what the hell. We went off to visit Sneek. After a fucking long time sitting in the train staring at the open Dutch countryside we finally set foot on Sneek’s soil. Damn. It sure was hot that day. From the moment we got out of that train I didn’t really feel at home. Well duh, it’s 200km from home you dumbass. Anyway, the square in front of the train station was completely desolated. The only sign of life was a agricultural vehicle passing by. There we were. In the middle of the middle of the center of nowhere. We decided to take a walk to the nearest shopping mall. There were no signes or directions what so ever. We just started walking. After a while we finally reached the civilized world. Well, not exactly, but there were shops and people walking all over the place. We bought our ice cream and went on with doing what we usually do. Hanging around. Slowly it became clear why I didn’t like the town. I’m male. There are certain things I notice. The most important thing I noticed that day was that all women in Sneek were tall, blonde, skinny and dressed in white. I kind of stood out with my black outfit. They all seemed to have tunnel vision. They all looked straight ahead while walking by. They looked away after a friendly ‘good morning’ I threw at them. I don’t know, but it seems the entire female population in Sneek is a) lesbian or b) dead. The first option would be entertaining, but you do know Murphy’s law. After 2 hours spent in Sneek we almost ran back to the train station. I was fucking terrified back there. While waiting for our train some girls came by. They weren’t tall and blonde. They were the opposite. Real street whores. Normally I don’t like seeing those creatures. But after seeing a shit load of tall skinny blonde dead white girls it was a welcome sight. I never thought I could enjoy seeing a street whore. As all street whores do they followed us around from a distance and giggled a bit. We decided to go to Eindhoven. It’s almost the only place on this globe I can actually have fun. We got some french fries (I sure love those things) and watched the amithyville horror. All the people in Eindhoven are so friendly compared to the zombies in Sneek. Even the Hell’s Angels stopped for us at the crossing. All the people I greeted actually returned a greeting with at least a smile. It was good to be home again.
Ok, this time we didn’t want to screw up so we went to Amsterdam. Our main capital. I really hadn’t been there for a while so it sounded like a great idea. Amsterdam. The city of freedom, the center of the multi cultural modern world. The place where you can… Enough of the blah, let’s go on with the story shall we? Right, the first thing I noticed was the fact I’m Dutch. Whow. The Dutch are known for their tallness. I’m not that tall, but I could still easily look over the heads of all the people walking in front of me. It was a bizarre feeling being the tallest dude walking around. The people from Japan aren’t really known for their tallness. Since 90% of all people walking around in Amsterdam are from Japan I stood out for the second time. Next to the Japanese we met some Germans an some friendly blokes from Australia. As all tourists do we went sight seeing but skipped the red light district. That particular part of town is really popular with the Japanese. I guess if I did go there they would keep me there because sometimes size does matter if you know what I mean. After 99 little Japanese tool sets they can all use some real Dutch erm.. Cheese behind that glass. So we skipped it. I’m not really fond of riding old bikes anyway. Just before we left a British guy asked for our help. He had this story about this hostel and friends and so on. The bottom line was he needed money. We liked his story so we gave him some money. Surprisingly the amount of money he claimed to need was exactly the price of a joint at the coffee shop nearby. Let him have his high. I didn’t care. Oh yeah, before I forget. The average impression of the women in Amsterdam is pretty poor. There were several pretty, I mean, really pretty Japanese girls. But when they approach you the only thing they want is you to make a picture of them torturing a pigeon. Lucky pigeons… Anyway, we decided it was time to get back to Eindhoven to have some fun. After a few hours of ‘having fun’ in Eindhoven we needed to go home. Usually we take a bus home. Nothing special. This time was however. We were waiting for the bus together with two girls, fifteen, maybe sixteen years of age. Nothing special. It turned out they didn’t have a ticket and no money with them. It also happened the bus driver was a pedophile. Ow great, a pedophile bus driver. So we sat there, in the bus, listening to this weird conversation between a pedophile and two broke fifteen year olds. I don’t know what those two agreed with the bus driver, but they were allowed to drive along for free.
We got home and grabbed a beer just trying not to think about the two little broke girls and the sick bus driver.
Tags: Monthly Dump by jorrizza
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