Geek Blood
After reading this article I can’t keep it to myself much longer. Yes, we are violent. Console hooligans, script kiddie bashers, rl-hackers, keyboard swordsmen. We have many names these days. To make some things a bit more understandable for the outsiders, compared to us the British football league hooligans are small useless wussies. Geeks are not like other geeks. We seem to be the friendly bunch without any visciousness within our nerdy hearts. This is all but the truth I tell you.
It all began back in the days. We refer to this period as the stone age. People were using DOS on i386’s and playing nethack. Some people stood up from the crowd and developed to the beings you now know as the geek. Since then the world has been changed. Not all geeks agreed with other geeks. In the beginning they could solve their disputes with dialog in stead of violence.
Now, things are different. There is a huge number of different geek groups, each with their own opinion and style. Just like back in the stone age some groups do not agree. At first some major battles were fought on usenet. We have lost some of our best comrades in the epic usenet wars of the second era. But these wars were fought using words, and words alone. The first attack on a server, and on the same time the beginning of the third era, was done by a fanatic group of geeks formed around a spinoff of the Berkerly operating system, OpenBSD. This attack on one of Undernet’s IRC servers was fast and ruthless. Shortly after a brave group of Red Hat gurus launched a counter attack on some of OpenBSD’s backbone servers. By accident they attacked a server running NT and serving a Microsoft support forum. It died a quick death. These geeks responded by launching random attacks against any non-Microsoft operating system community. Reliable sources tell us they may have been supported by no other than Bill Gates himself.
I got involved after an attempt to break some of our Debian repository servers. I’ve been part of some succesful raids against the Gentoo and Fedora user groups. Luckaly we got backup from our friends over at Ubuntu to teach those Red Hat geeks a lesson.
A few weeks ago I’ve received a message, heavily encrypted, telling me some of the user groups got involved in fist fights at FOSDEM. I really hate myself now, I’ve missed the event this year. After this incident more and more geeks have been seen at arms dealers and other criminal scum. I’m not that hard core but I know something’s about to happen. I’ve ordered my AK on eBay yesterday, just to be sure. I think some of us will have to pay with our lives to defend our user group. We still haven’t finished the lobby war against Microsoft at the European Council. I think when we successfully banish Microsoft from Europe, the war will be unleashed and only one group will remain. It will be bloody, but worth it.
To all my comrades out there: good luck, may the source be with you. Don’t forget to buy some armour at JINX. The fourth era will be ours! AYBABTU!
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