JRRZZ blog

Welcome readers. Today we have a really special guest. God. We are going to have a talk with God to help his servants to understand him better. So, God, welcome to this interview.

God: Thanks.

JRRZZ: You’re welcome. One of the most important questions I have to ask you is the following: Are you the only god out there or are there more of you?

G: Well, I’m the only one but I have many names. I’m God, Allah, JWH and even Ronald mcDonald. Just call me however you like as long as you don’t call me Santa.

J: Ok, God will do just fine. Since you are the only God out there, don’t you get lonely?

G: That’s why I have made you guys to my image. Didn’t you read the book? One of my early adopters has written that one down. I’m sure.

J: Yes I did read it. So did most of the readers. It was a blast. Don’t you think the book is a little over rated?

G: I have to admit, I didn’t choose the best writers to write my book. And I have made some editorial changes here and there during the past 2000 years. You know, letting the book evolve to keep my church in position.

J: Talking of whitch, your church is one of the oldest out there. When you look at the Jews no one knows how long they have been following your word. How do you manage to keep your followers from losing faith?

G: You have to be God to manage. Luckaly I am. Just do a wonder every once in a while and people will have faith again.

J: I haven’t seen any wonders lately, does that mean your trust in the faith of your followers is greater than ever?

G: No! No! No! It’s bad these days and even you can’t see my work. I have dispatched several angels to make me a little show. One over at the Americans and one over in Afghanistan. I’ve told them to, well, basically hate each other and make a lot of people follow them. That worked out pretty good, don’t you think? And do you want wonders? How the hell, yes, I can say that, did you think those poor bastard managed to fly those planes into the world trade center? Right! That was the so-called hand of God. Did you check the nifty smoke effects? This is getting better every minute. The extremists are spreading like wildfire.

J: But God, you can’t approve this! Millions of people have died!

G: The hell I can! With every death on either side I gain populairity. I just love to see those people killing each other in MY name. Didn’t you see the crowds in the streets after one of their people died? It’s huge! And all of them swear a holy oath of faith. My plan is working perfectly. But what did you expect? I’m God for my sake. I love that joke, really, it never gets old.

J: You are the funny guy, God. But back on topic. Alot of readers have emailed me if I would ask you this: “The Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything”.

G: 42.

J: Oh. I guess we still have to figure that one out for ourselves.

G: Yeah, I’m sure you’ll get it some day. Not you that is, you’re just not the type of guy who would understand anything.

J: This question is really one of the questions no one dares to ask but we all want to know, why did you make ugly people if you created them in your own image?

G: It’s pretty simple. You have never seen me in person. And I can assure you I’m not the friendly guy in the white robe and the big puffy beard. Thousands of years of hard labour have left their mark if you know what I mean.

J: The final question I just have to ask, what happes to the non believers?

G: Well, they won’t see a bright shiny light at the end of the tunnel, haha. No, I’ve got my ways of dealing with the pesky humans who just don’t want to believe and follow the right path. Usually I give out signes before they die. You know, the usual killing-of-cat-with-car method works. Especially with women. Sometimes when I’m in a happy mood I play this game I like to call haunted-house. It’s really alot of fun, you should try it some time. Oh wait, you have to be me to do that. And finally one of my favorite ones is nightmares. You don’t want to know how good I’m at making good horror movies inside their heads. One by one, all potential hollywood block busters. Oh, and after they die I’ll send them back to school. For eternity. Haha, I’m evil. Lucifer is my middle name.

J: Thanks for the interview, God. I’m glad you had the time to drop by. I’ll see you later.

G: Sooner than you think, way sooner. Anyway, bye. I’ve got work to do.

Tags: Stuff by jorrizza
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I have never seen anything like this before. While the world as awaiting it’s end as we know it due to a bird flu pandemic I’ve just started something that could become even worse. I really don’t know what this is. Imagine the common cold. You know, sneeze, cough and heavy breathing. Imagine sneezing blood. I’ve had quite some blood loss these last few weeks. A bloody nose once in a while, sleepless nights due to blood stuck up your nose and more of this stuff. Not to mention the constant fear of having a bloody nose in public. If the amount of blood lost was kept to a minimum I wouldn’t panic at all. But losing blood to the point of diziness isn’t healthy. I’ve had this one for almost four weeks now and I haven’t noticed any progress in my cure of this virus, infection or whatever. But the worst is still to come. The damn thing became airborne. Several collegues at work have had the same thing already. Bloody noses and the symptoms of a normal cold. At school a teacher called in sick after going home with a bloody piece of cloth pressed against his nose. What the hell is this? I’m going to visit a doctor soon, because I haven’t seen a doctor in six years and because I don’t think I can master this disease without medical attention. I’ve named this disease “Bloody Cold”. In Latin that would be ehh, “Nasopharyngitis Sanguina” I think. My Latin is a bit rusty, sorry about that. It’s not life threatening. But if you’ve got medication stopping your blood from filling up the wound you will be fcked. I’ve lost over a litre of blood this week I guess. Could be a bit less or a bit more. It was alot, that’s for sure. Anyway, if you’ve been in direct contact with me report to your local medical assistant and ask for further guidance. Don’t forget to mention the expensive Latin name. That way you’ll be taken serious a lot sooner.
You might have seen the ++ in the title? That’s because I’ve finished my project for school this week. We have made a fully functional traffic simulation. Entirely written in C++. Damn, I hate that language. Luckaly I was able to use regular C within the code and my code within the project was easily found. No classes, no psuedo types, no weird constructions, nu public, private and inheritance crap. Just C. The only bad luck I had was that we had to use Borland C++ Builder 6. This hideous piece of software can’t even understand the most simple example of if-clauses. It complained it would be always true. Sure. I won’t even begin about it’s code setup or it wanting to make everything into an object. Oh well, we have finished it and it seems to work. It’s in no way ANSI and above all not portable. Hooray for the educational system. But hey, the kids are learning C++. With a compiler telling them wrong from right that is. They never learn to check for themselves if there’s a memory leak or anything. They never learn how the memory allocation works within the operating system. Ok, luckaly they can actually write some code. But to get text from user input they only know how to call an object from some input field and getting well formatted text from it. They never learn to get to the basics. Don’t use the tool if you don’t know what the tool does in the first place! I’ve said this before and I will keep saying it. Ok, you don’t have to get this too broad. You don’t have to know the kernel source code if you want to use Linux. But you get my point. If a compiler trows an error you have to be able to understand why. And by beginning to program with a fully-fledged IDE like Borland’s you will never learn how to really write code. The basics are the most important. That’s why I began to write C in a terminal using a simple ascii editor (Yes, I’m a nano and ed user. I’m proud of it. Emacs and vi(m) are both not my style. Live with it.) and compiling it with GCC. Oh, and did I mention I hate classes? Structs are okay. Real usable types like your regular char. You can sizeof, fwrite an do alot with them. But some people didn’t understand and thought it would be fun to include functions in a struct and call it a class. Oh, and while we’re at it we’ll throw in some access rights and difficult inheretance rules. Sure, like we all have plenty of RAM. Whoops, we’ve broken the original type definition. You know what? It’s not a bug, it’s a feature! It’s called an object! And all the lazy programmers started to use objects because it was trendy and all the managers liked the OOP buzzword. They never thought about the consequences. The code becomes unreadable, hard to manage and a mess. Yes, now you need an IDE to manage all these objects. Hey, my simple hello world application has become 300K! I’m sure it was only en few hundred bytes the last time I checked. Now I can’t run it on my Sinclair anymore! Oh well, who uses old hardware anyway these days? And now you know why Vista needs 1GB of RAM to boot.

Tags: Stuff by jorrizza
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