JRRZZ blog

I don’t like certain types of people. The posers, the people who think they know it all. The world would be better off without them.

Religious fanatics. I fucking hate these people. You just can’t have a decent discussion with them without being confronted with their utter stupidity. When they don’t blow themselves up they start preaching about their version of the truth. I don’t want to know about your version, dude. Shut the fuck up. And get the hell out of my sight before I show you my version of the truth.

Nationalists. Also known as patriots. These people actually think their country means something. They are stupid enough to believe their country is superior to any other nation in every way possible. They seem to forgive every single crime their own country commits but when another country does something they don’t like, they’re the first people to tell them to stop, Fucking hypocrites. Don’t even try to argue with these people. Oh no, you’re not a real patriot! You don’t love this country! Get the hell off my lawn! Surprisingly all these so-called patriots don’t even know how the other country is called they speak so hatefully about.

Vegetarians. Fucking freaks. They are in the biggest denial phase I’ve ever seen. Mankind is a species of predators, we feed off of other life forms. Got that? We’re not herbivores, just look at your fucking teeth. We eat plants to supply us with the vitamines and other stuff meat can’t provide. Our brains have grown this big thanks to meat. Why would you deny your own evolution? Ungrateful pieces of shit. I’m not going to risk to slow down human evolution just because a couple of pussy vegetarians think pigs and cows are cute. They are lesser life forms, they deserve to die to feed those above them on the food chain. If you vegetarians want to lower yourselves to the level of a herbivore, I suggest getting eaten by a pack of rabid dogs.

A combination of the people above. Vegetarian national socialists. Nazis with carrots. Hitler fanboys with broccoli stuck up their asses. You get the point. I’ve created a list of 66 things I can do when I get my hands on one of these things I can hardly call people.

• Make him drink nitroglycerin, kick him in the gut and say terrorists did it.
• Smash his face with a sun dried piece of bullshit.
• Fill all his bodily cavities with marihuana and send him to Jamaica with only a lighter and a dollar bill.
• Nail him to a wooden cross and burn him in front of a whites-only Alabama trailer park.
• Wrap a towel around his head in the middle of a Bush-loving God-fearing all-American crowd.
• Let him drive a French car across the Sahara desert.
• Duct tape him to a chair in front of a huge TV and make him watch the bold and the beautiful for 48 hours straight.
• Secretly brainwash his children to kill their parents when they’re asleep.
• Make him suck (what’s left of) Micheal Jackson’s cock.
• Dress up as a clown and do the create-nifty-animals-using-balloons-thing with his bladder.
• Tell a blind retarded chainsaw ice sculptor the guy’s actually made out of talking ice.
• Hook up a hose from his rectum to his mouth after feeding him three kilos of chilli beans.
• Let him meet a few crows after feeding them candy that looks exactly like human eyeballs for several years.
• Make him do the chippendale act at the conference for morbidly obese over aged women.
• Cut off his extremeties using only a spoon.
• Run him over repeatedly with a mini morris.
• Celine Dion.
• Send him naked into a rape victim support session.
• Fix his head into a horizontal position and make him swallow a bottle of epecac.
• Poke his eyes out and tell him the doctor is on the other side of the runway.
• At death row, give him the finger ten times before he can sign his release form.
• Bash in his skull with a dead goose.
• Alter his DNA to match that of a bird, get the flu and sneeze on him.
• Cover him in female elephant urine during the mating season.
• Drop him out of an airplane over area 51 with an antenna stuck up his ass.
• Attach his skull to the tracks of a tank and drive around his living room.
• Tattoo “donor” in the back of his neck and send him to one of those vampire goth parties.
• Give the man a white pointy hat and make him appear on stage after a Snoop Dogg show.
• Throw him into the arctic sea and revert the global warming process.
• Make him play roulette using uranium dice.
• Show him uranus up close.
• Make him appear naked in front of the national cannibal congress with a big red apple in his mouth.
• Teach him how to tap dance on a mine field.
• Make him read the bible on acid.
• Swap out his organs with car parts and try to start the engine.
• Attach one end of a rope to the ceiling fan and the other end to his pinkie toe.
• Attach scalpels to his fingers and throw him in a bath of itching powder.
• Make Chuck Norris say “DIE” in his face.
• Let a morbidly obese woman rape him on a bed of nails.
• Feed his liver to his children while his wife does the dishes.
• Make him shave with a chainsaw.
• Rip his heart out through his left foot while he’s running a marathon.
• Calculate the trajectory of falling space debris and let him catch the stuff.
• Stuff his stomach full of pluche animals and let him wear a santa suit.
• Replace a crash test dummy in a Chinese car with his helpless body.
• Perform brain surgery using only a battle axe and a crew driver.
• Make him learn to fly the hard, but the fast way.
• Choke him to death using his own spinal cord.
• Use him as a voodoo doll targeting himself.
• Test his conductivity with lightning.
• Throw him in a pit during a metal-for-the-morbidly-obese-fest.
• Offer his left eye to Ted Jesus Christ God and watch him bleed to death in his honor.
• Perform a little do-it-yourself anatomical pathology and make him live through the whole thing.
• Crush his skull in between two planes both flying supersonic.
• Kill him by not shooting a bullet to his head but pressing it slowly inwards. AKA the slow motion headshot.
• Donate his skin to a cannibal tribe’s chief and make him the nude act at the cannibal’s party.
• Let him swim in a refreshing bath of liquid nitrogen.
• Break every bone in his body and use his body as a wrapper for a christmas present.
• Plant bamboo in a gaping wound in his stomach and watch nature do what it does best.
• Rewire his nerves to make him hit himself in the face and nuts at the same time every time he tries to breathe.
• Make him an open minded person using a pizza cutter.
• Place a dormant rat in his right lung and watch it eat it’s way out.
• Put his head in a bucket full of concrete but leave a straw to breathe through. Attach a compressor to the straw.
• Nail him to an inverted cross using his lower ribs as nails and his left foot as a hammer.
• Force a wooden pole down his throat and check if it can actually come out the other end.
• Make him read this list and eat his own pants afterwards.

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