JRRZZ blog

Fellow ACP contributor Waldheri has left a comment on this blog asking me to participate in one of the blogosphere’s more social activities, a meme. It’s basically a number of questions that need to be answered with the more-or-less obligation to spread the meme to other blogs in the blogosphere.

I accept. Not an unexpected reaction from the keeper of one of the most unvisited parts of the interwebs. Anyway, let’s go and answer the questions, shall we?

Can You Remember The Day That You Officially Became An Atheist?

Why is this the only question Entirely Written In Camel Case? It Just Doesn’t Make Any Sense. Ah, I haven’t even started yet and I’m already off topic.

I’ve never considered myself an official Atheist. The best way to explain this rather vague statement is to tell the whole story.

My mother used to be a Catholic nun. My upbringing has been rather Catholic because of that. I went through all of the rites that were expected of God fearing Catholic school boys. Baptism, Eucharist, Confirmation and even some church choir stuff. The rite of Confirmation is usually held at a person’s entry into adulthood. As an afterthought, I was eleven, twelve years old or so, which might explain the “other” activities at that age within certain Catholic churches. Anyway, the teachers at primary school and the church volunteers tried to explain this wasn’t just the age of adulthood, but even more the age of reason. We twelve year olds should be enlightened (read: indoctrinated) enough to accept God into our hearts and take the pledge of loyalty to the church. Luckily I interpreted “reason” and “enlightenment” as a motivation to start learning more about my newly pledged faith. I started reading the Bible. This is where things started falling apart.

As I progressed through the linguistical hardships that came with reading the Bible, a horrific and staggering amount of bloodshed and cruelty became apparent. This wasn’t the loving God everyone was talking about. This God had all the characteristics of a vile dictator. He broke his promises, massacred entire civilizations in fear of losing power and didn’t care about a few thousand lives more or less. This discovery enraged me greatly. I went to the pastor for answers, but he essentially waved my arguments away as a futile attempt to undermine his own faith. This unfriendly encounter with my personal church representative left me determined to find out what was really going on.

After a few mislead and futile attempts to salvage what was left of my, once unquestionable, faith I turned my back on Catholicism. So where does an enraged ex-Catholic kid with a huge Death Metal collection go to? Exactly, Satan. Gradually this anger-lead misconception made way for real reason. During the years in college I discovered the scientific method, philosophy and logic. I’ve never completely left Satan. I still had my pentagram and deep down the rage still existed. From my newly found love for philosophy I set out to find the meaning behind this Satan figure, which didn’t mean anything but anti-Catholicism to me. The Satanic Bible by LaVey introduced a whole new chapter in my life.

The last four or five years I went back and forth between LaVeyan Satanism and modern Luciferianism. Right now I consider myself a LaVeyan Satanist. I’m still no real Atheist, since I still believe in “a” god. This god of mine is created by me in my own image. Just like the Catholic one, but they don’t want to admit it. My god is a representation of me and there’s nothing supernatural about it. I worship my god by, essentially, having fun. As long as I’m happy, my god’s happy. See, this god is merely a way to describe the epitome of my life. It’s no entity on it’s own. You may call me an Atheist if you wish, I won’t be offended. Satan still is the representation of my hatred toward the Catholic upbringing I had to endure. I don’t see Satan as a god, more as an iconic symbol. Next to my disbelief of a supreme being Satanism encompasses a whole bunch of other interesting concepts. Since this isn’t part of the question I won’t bother you with the nifty little details.

Do you remember the day you officially became an agnostic?

I only discovered there was such a thing as agnosticism when I was already convinced God didn’t exist. When I look back on the events that lead to the disbelief, there’s no gradual path through agnosticism. My disbelief came quite abrupt in the form of protest against the wrongdoings of my Catholic scholars.

How about the last time you spoke or prayed to God with actual thought that someone was listening?

That must have been during the salvage attempts. There’s a little chapel I used to frequent not far from where I live. I think I’ve made my final attempt to communicate with God there.

Did anger towards God or religion help cause you to be an atheist or agnostic?

Oh yes. Yes it did. And it still does. With a nice Morbid Angel tune playing on the background I can’t wait to set some churches on fire.

Here is a good one: Were you agnostic towards ghosts, even after you became an atheist?

I’ve never believed in ghosts. The ghost folklore was part of my upbringing though. I guess I’ve always been convinced ghosts were part of the very same category as vampires and werewolves. I’m quite comfortable in a graveyard at night. I grew up next to a graveyard dating from the 15th century. Hell, I used to play there as a kid. If there was such a thing as ghosts I’m sure one of the graveyard’s inhabitants would have tried to communicate. Until now they’ve played dead.

Do you want to be wrong?

Of course I want to be wrong. That’s the only way to learn anything. But I guess the question is about being wrong about the almighty slayer of unbelievers. Yeah, I’d like to be wrong. I can take him. Easily. Apparently he has lost all of his power during the renaissance, so I must be able to kick him out of heaven and claim it as my own. It’s the perfect place to shoot angels from. If I’m wrong it’ll be raining dead angels after I die. I promise.

The final part to make this meme continue: the invitations. Since my blogroll doesn’t contain a large number of Atheist bloggers I have to use ACP’s blogroll. I’ll invite two people.

• Chimera
• Blue Linchpin

Tags: Stuff by jorrizza
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With this year’s Loebner prize awarded to Elbot, artificial intelligence is one step closer to mimicking human behavior. While this achievement is quite astonishing on it’s own, it also makes certain people worry about our future. It’s not only the Terminator enthusiasts who are out shopping for shotguns and canned food. A large, and still growing, number of highly renowned scientists and philosophers agree that it’s very, very likely for us to be a mere manifestation of supreme artificial intelligence. In other words, that we’re all part of a humongous simulation.

Since Nick Bostrom’s publishing of the simulation argument in Philosophical Quarterly I’ve supported the theory. It’s an intriguing way of looking at reality, albeit a bit on the nihilistic side. The most important proof reality could give me was the astonishing resemblance between sub-atomic physics and 3D render engines. Just think about it for a second. A well written render engine will only render the 2D result of your current view port. All the other environmental data won’t even be processed. In the Copenhagen model of quantum mechanics the state of a particle is completely unknown until measured. Basically Schrödinger’s zombie cat paradox. Bostrom provided the mathematical evidence to support the possibility to simulate the human brain. With enough of these simulated brains in parallel you’ve got yourself a simulated society. He also pointed out, using basic probability calculations, that the probability of us being the unsimulated society is alarmingly low.

As a low-level software engineer I’m not comfortable with this idea. There’s a huge problem Bostrom has overlooked.

We’re moving towards a technological level on which we can successfully start to simulate the human brain. We’re also breeding like rabbits, adding more brains to the system. So in essence we’ve got two processes adding brains to the overall system; the natural process and the synthetic process. The natural process is rather slow. It’s a low exponential increase with certain environmental limitations, further diminishing the growth. The synthetic growth is truly exponential and will rise rapidly.

When I look at the simulation argument from a low-level hacker’s point of view, a capacity problem arises. And it’s a big one. The natural growth will behave like a parallel recursive function. It’ll slowly, but at an increasing rate, consume all available resources. The simulation program will have to spawn new brain simulation processes in order to keep up with the growth. From the moment these simulated brains start producing their own simulation of themselves the recursion turns into recursive parallel recursion. The exponent of the natural exponential growth will grow exponentially. These programming errors will bring any finite system to it’s knees within moments. I usually refer to this event as the critical state of a recursive system. Logic suggests that the critical state of our universe has to be lower than that of the host on which we are simulated. The critical state isn’t so much a computational boundary, as it’s an effect of the finite amount of storage for the state itself.

Either of two things will happen if we successfully start to simulate our own brains. The first possibility is that nothing happens, we are simply not simulated. The second possibility is a little more complicated. Since the capacity of the machine is not limited by the capacity of it’s creator’s brain, the machine is likely to have a higher capacity than it’s creator. It will be able to simulate a better brain which will reach the point of building a simulation of an even better brain sooner. This recursive evolution is only limited by the critical state of the original machine. The simulation, on any level of the recursion, may hit it’s critical state at any point in time. The inhabitant of that level can not be aware of the critical state of his level, or any of the recursive levels prior to him. See, with our exponential growth of capacity, both natural and synthetic, we will hit our critical state. If we are simulated, that is.

So in short we’re pretty much doomed as a simulation. Let’s just hope we’re not.

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Until a few months ago the ACP has been collecting confessions. I’ve posted the last ones, including mine, on the site. If you’ve got a few minutes I recommend reading them, you’ll enjoy them. I promise.

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Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m going to start my final year at Fontys, which will probably end up in six months overtime. But hey, when I’m done I’m going home with a Bachelors degree. Not that it matters that much. It only proves I can withstand enormous amounts of stupidity, not that I know anything about a certain subject. Maybe I’m going to pursue a Masters degree, but not at Fontys. Anywhere but Fontys. Fucking amateurs.

Oh well, let’s see what nonsense and outdated stupidity Fontys will try to throw at me this time. I’ve read something about embedded Windows and C#. Or what about some distributed system using, you guessed it, .NET? This is going to be fun.

Fuck you, Fontys.

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I’ve never witnessed a Christian countering my arguments this often before. And it seems he keeps on going, too. This is definitely going on the ACP when this discussion is finished, if ever.

I wonder though, is this guy actually Christian? Since he does now how to construct a point. My guess is that he’s just doing this for fun or educational purposes. A Christian this fanatical would end up accusing me of heresy way sooner, just like the hundreds who came before him.

Edit: Ooh, this guy is good. He tried to lure me into defending my opinion about my point instead of the point itself. I’m really curious to where this might lead.

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Now Skinny John the Legend has left the new pirate vessel has been vacant. A new skipper has finally arrived. He’s a Tegenaria Atrica named Eight Knot William, and a real lady killer. I just had to take his picture now he’s out for his nightly stroll looking for hot female Atrica’s.

So if you’re a young hot Atrica and you’re looking for some real pirate action, send an email to skipper.atrica@yarrr.wasda.nl. Thanks.

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I’ve been invited to write stuff for the ACP. Maybe you’ve noticed the link in the blogroll for a while already. So all my religiously tainted posts will be made at the ACP, go check them out if you haven’t already. Some really interesting people and opinions can be found there.

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Yes you’ve read the title right. You murderer. You’ve killed the very icon you claim to admire. You’ve personally sucked the last breath out of his holy lungs and nailed him to the cross a second time. Permanently. And now he’s up there, rotting, you continue to stab his worm-eaten corpse with endless sin.

And I thank you.

Before you rally to your defenses, let me take you to the beginning. Genesis 3:2-5.

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ” “You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

The serpent was Lucifer in disguise and seduced Eve into sin. As you all know Eve ate from the tree and was banned from paradise. Man became sinful. But not to worry, God still loved us. He sent his only son down to earth to be sacrificed in order to forgive mankind for it’s sin. The only thing you’ll need to do is accept Jesus in your heart as your Lord and Saviour and everything will work out for you in the end. We’ll get back to that statement later.

Let’s take closer look into Genesis first. Paradise was a place where man had no idea about good nor evil, our eyes were closed. Only God knew the distinction between good and evil. Lucifer didn’t just bring enlightenment, or so-called sin, to mankind. Lucifer is enlightenment. It’s the literal translation of his name. The first sin of mankind was opening our eyes in order to judge for ourselves without the need of God. We became God.

When we take this into perspective and strip it down to the basics the story basically tells us mankind is unfit to choose between good and bad, and doing so is sinful. We should also choose to accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour. The paradox is obvious but let’s ignore that for a second. Free will is a sin. You should not judge for yourself, you should not lead your life the way you like it. You should live by the will of God.

When we take a trip down memory lane we’ll meet some of the greatest adversaries of Christianity. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote in the Gay Science:

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?

Aleister Crowley wrote in his Book of the Law:

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law

And maybe the most well-known of them all. Frank Sinatra.

And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and ev’ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, even Sinatra. Almost every musician is a messenger of Lucifer and almost every Christian loves to hear them ol’ songs on the radio, I know you do! Tell me then, what’s the difference between “Your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil”, “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law”, “I did it my way” and “Listen to your heart”?

It has become the modern credo. Listen to your heart, follow your heart, let your heart guide your hand. Everybody is living by it. Everybody judges by the standards they hold dearest. It’s not just a sin, it’s the one and only mortal sin. It’s the only sin higher than those of the ten commandments. Accepting Jesus in your heart as your Lord and Saviour is the sin he has died for!

Admit it. Christ is dead. Lucifer rules supreme. Ave! Ave versus Christus! Ave Satana!

Tags: Stuff by jorrizza
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I’ve received an email today. It made me smile.

A while ago Fontys has started a new programme specialised in security (Dutch), a pathetic attempt if you ask me. They’ve been heavily criticised by several professionals. You can’t teach people security by teaching teachers about security. Some basic concepts can be taught, but you’ll need real world experience to give your security researcher title any meaning. Rumors about the end of the programme have been around since it’s launch.

Somehow Fontys has found the funds to give the dying educational programme another jolt. A security lab is Fontys’s answer to the failing project. I wonder what’s to be found in a security lab. Is it about network security? Then I wouldn’t expect anything more than some OpenBSD boxes. Is it about software security? All you need for that is a compiler suite and some debugging tools, no lab. Or is it about low level hardware and software security? If that’s the case you’ll need quite a shit load of (extremely expensive) measurement and development tools, since there’s a shit load of low level security mechanisms out there. And the researches will need knowledge beyond anything taught at Fontys. In short the security lab needs to contain everything used to develop the target products in order to be effective.

Another point of critique is the fact that you’ll need to be highly skilled in software development in order to search for security flaws. These youngsters can’t code jack shit and start following security courses. How the hell are they going to look for buffer overflows and illegal (de)referencing if they don’t even know what pointers are? I bet they get taught what security companies are saying instead of really getting down and dirty with a debugger.

But anyway, the challenge. The grand opening of this new lab is scheduled at friday the 13th of June. How appropriate. It would be so cool to prove Fontys is full of crap by, say, spicing up the event. It can’t be that hard since Fontys has been Microsoft’s lap dog for years now. Don’t get all excited and destroy half their network, just leave a little statement. Show some sportsmanship. If you are successful at this the outcome will be positive in any way. If Fontys decides to play the bully and punish whoever did it, they prove they don’t understand security basics (security be fear). If they accept their defeat you’ll prove they’re full of crap.

p.s. They keep insulting us (wnb) hackers.

Tags: Stuff by jorrizza
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I had a few problems to face. First, I’m terribly out of shape. And with the coming holiday I really need to do something about that. Second, I needed a new bike.

Combine these two and it’s not that hard to guess what kind of bike I was looking for. A sports bike, right? Well, almost.

As a left wing activist with some street cred left I can’t just buy an awesome car and drive around polluting the very thing I tend to preserve, the environment. Not that I avoid using cars all together. I’m not that much of an environmentalist. It’s just nonsense to use a car when a bicycle gets you there faster and cheaper. Maybe the fact that I grew up without a car to my disposal helps a little. I don’t know. Anyway, I’m used to cycling everywhere so I need a proper work horse that gets me where I want to go faster than my current bike and is also suitable for high speed touring.

When I buy something I never buy things half-baked. I want it to be a Dutch bike, too. Somehow I’ve managed to completely destroy every foreign bike I’ve ever had. So I’ve got a few choices right? I could go for the more expensive Batavus or Gazelle models or for a properly hand crafted Koga Myata. RIH and Sparta just don’t make the bikes they used to anymore. Koga Myata seems to be an excellent choice and the bicycles I’ve tested are nice, light and fast.

While riding a Koga loaner a while ago another bike passed me, while I was picking up some serious speed. Powered by a middle aged man. Smiling.

I usually don’t use the words but in this case “what the fuck” is the right expression. I’m a young adonis for pete’s sake. That guy was half way to hell. How he managed to pass me? He had a recumbent bicycle. So if a middle aged man on a recumbent can pass me on a Koga, I have to have a bike like that.

It turns out quite some hand crafting Dutch recumbent bicycle manufacturers exist. Quite a lot actually. The biggest three (for all I know) are M5, Challenge and Nazca. They all create some really weird contraptions. All I wanted was a fast bike capable of transporting my camera or laptop. After much folder sniffing and google raping I found the bike that suited all my wishes. The Nazca Fuego.

A beautifully hand crafted bike. It’s quite nice on the eye, too. Packed with sports level parts while staying comfortable. At least, that’s what they say.

But where can I buy this thing? My local bicycle shop owner couldn’t help me. He’s restricted to the bigger Dutch brands like Batavus, RIH and Sparta. Luckily Nazca provides a dealer list. And hey, a dealer within cycling distance, how nice! So today I’ve paid a visit to De Liggende Hollander, which roughly translates to “The Laying Dutchman”. The shop is located in a small shed/garage type of building in the middle of an average neighborhood. Not the place where you’d expect the only recumbent bicycle dealer in the area. The thing is completely packed with bikes. Some are out for display, some are hanging from the wall and others are hanging on wires from the ceiling. It’s a wonderful sight of brilliant engineering combined with a chronic lack of space. The shop is operated by a friendly guy who surely knows his stuff.

And behold, there it was, hidden behind it’s direct Challenge competitor, the Fuego. After some adjustments to the frame and some paperwork I was ready to take this thing for a spin. Or at least, I thought I was. I’ve tried a recumbent bike before quite a while ago and didn’t really manage to take off, so to speak. The shop’s owner helped me along and after a few (wobbly) laps around the neighborhood I was confident enough to take the bike to the public road.

What a revelation. It’s fast, comfortable, lean and everything everybody was saying about these bicycles is absolutely true. It’s a way better experience than the ordinary upright bike. The seat is shaped just right, the air suspension does it’s job perfectly and together with an excellent stiff frame this adds up to an unprecedented cycling experience. Of course some minor things annoyed me. Like that most traffic lights are controlled by buttons that are placed just too high to be easily reached from a semi-low racer like the Fuego. Also, because of the speed and aerodynamics flies and other insects are lining up to enter one of your facial cavities. Wearing glasses isn’t just a luxury, it’s highly recommended. note to self: buy some

Because of this wonderful experience I’ve decided to buy it. Expensive as it may be, it’s worth every last penny.

Some technical details I’ve remembered for the interested: Fuego Top-Sport Black Satin, Shimano (105?) 2×9 crank setup, Schwalbe Stelvio tires, Kind-Shock air suspension, Shimano (M535?) hydraulic disc brakes, 24 spoke Alex wheels and some LED lighting. Photos will be submitted to DeviantArt next week, after I’ve received the bike.

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